Photograph by Joel Sartore, National Geographic
As I look back on my life today… it looks very different than I thought it did just 10 years ago. Why? The past didn’t change. Sure I have changed, but what has really shifted is my perception. Isn’t this what healing really is? It’s a shift in my internal world. It’s a deep experience of gratitude for everything in my life exactly as it is.
I will tell you what I mean. I went through a period of 10 years where a lot of “bad things” happened. It started with the death of my grandparents all within a couple of years… That wasn’t so bad – everyone loses their grandparents, but that was just the beginning. On May 10, 1999 – I found my father on the floor curled up in a ball and foaming at the mouth after having suffered a stroke. This marked the beginning of the complete upheaval of my life. My beautiful, idyllic world was about to be shaken to the core. My father was in a coma – out of a coma and back into a coma for 6 weeks and passed away on June 28. In the next 10 years, I experienced the following:
~ Fire – the house I grew up in burned to the ground shortly after my dad passed away
~ Flood – the apartment my sister and I lived in flooded
~ Tornado – the house my dad inherited from his uncle was destroyed by a tornado
~ Brain tumor – I was diagnosed with a brain tumor
~ 2 brain surgeries – I stopped breathing and almost died after the second surgery
~ Marriage & Divorce within 1 and a half years
~ Sinus surgery to remove e. coli bacteria in my sinuses that had been introduced somehow during the brain surgery
~ Addiction to pain killers after my brain surgery – treatment for said addiction
~ Diagnosed with Endometriosis after having a surgery to treat intense abdominal pain
~ Diagnosed with a second brain tumor
~ Third brain surgery
Needless to say, I went through some pretty dark times. Such fear, devastation, pain, and suffering that I was brought to my knees. During this time period, I saw myself as a victim. I wanted to know why!
It was a dark night of the soul indeed. I was brought to the depth of despair. I was broken.
But…. I was broken open! When I was broken open, there was now space for Grace to enter. Thus began my healing.
You see, everything was so brilliantly designed for the awakening of my spirit. Each and every experience was perfect. I developed the kind of compassion and depth that I would never have were it not for these “tragedies”. I use quotations because I have learned that each struggle was, in fact, a gift. I was graced with the opportunity to experience a sort of spiritual boot camp.
When I see a “storm” brewing – I see it as an opportunity… for growth, for enlightenment, for compassion, for exactly what I need.
My spiritual teachers have been instrumental in helping to shift my perception. Through Meditation, Jyotisha, and Pranayama, I have been able to see things with new eyes.
You see… stumbling blocks and stepping stones look the same – It’s all in how you perceive them.
Life Coach ~ Vedic Astrology ~ Meditation ~ Sanskrit ~ Mantra ~ Yoga
Delray Beach, Florida