I have some thoughts on the nature of relationships and would like to share something that was one of the biggest breakthroughs I have ever experienced. I have seen so many people struggling with this dynamic lately and it’s something that is potentially life changing. This may be a bit lengthy, but bear with me…. trust me, it’s worth it. There are 3 very important lessons I have learned recently.
Here is what I experienced:
I was experiencing tremendous fear and anxiety as the result of an incredible connection. This sounds strange, but I became so afraid that I was finding love only to inevitably lose it. The feeling of stress was palpable and overwhelming. It affected me physically.
Lesson #1 – The Subconscious Effect of Stories we tell Ourselves
I have been on a spiritual path for some time and have practiced meditation for years now. As a result, I was able to quickly realize that my feelings weren’t necessarily about the situation at hand… there was some deeper pattern involved. I asked to be shown the pattern, and it was like looking at a movie in fast forward. I realized that in my past when I had an important man in my life and then lost them through death, a breakup, or divorce, a period of darkness followed. My entire being was operating as if this story were true, that if I found love and lost it, darkness would follow. I was responding subconsciously to a belief that wasn’t true. It was incredible – the level of panic I experienced in my body was intense. However, as soon as I was able to see that this “story” I had been believing was not true, I was able to shift immediately. A change happened in an instant. I experienced relief at once.
You see, your entire reality can and will shift in an instant the moment you release false beliefs and stories!
Lesson #2 – My Heart Belongs to Spirit
Of course, life continues to show us lessons to be learned. Later in the week, I was experiencing fear and anxiety again. However, this time it was different. That night, I attended a mantra and meditation event led by dear friends. At one point, I was laying on the floor with my eyes closed after doing a heart opening exercise. Tears began streaming down my face. Again, like being struck by lightning, I was shown that in the past with each of the men that I had lost, I had attached my heart directly to theirs.
Hold on a minute… aren’t we supposed to give our heart to people? NO!!! I saw what looked like chords of light attached from my heart to theirs. I had become dependent on them for my happiness and wellbeing. I mentally visualized myself “cutting the chords” with each of them and took the time to mentally take responsibility for this unhealthy dynamic. I also mentally apologized to each of them and sent a prayer that they be happy and fulfilled. It was wrong of me to place such a demand upon them. I saw that I was repeating this again with my most recent connection. I very gently severed this chord as well and later apologized to him personally for making him feel in any way that he was responsible for my well-being. What I saw in the moment I did this was this chord of light come into my heart and shoot directly up to God. My heart belongs to the Divine.
You see, I will never again give my heart to another human being – family, friend or partner. This in no way means that I will not share love in my relationships with family, friends or my romantic partner. In fact, it means the exact opposite. I will share my love from a place of fullness and peace rather than expect or need to be fulfilled by them.
Lesson #3 – The Energetic Exchange in Relationships
The relationship dynamic that creates endless opportunities for growth, joy, passion, and love is such that both people are plugged into a source of love that is deeper than themselves. They both draw their individual power from this source and share the overflow between each other.
I had the understanding yesterday while speaking with someone who was experiencing difficulties in her relationship that what commonly happens is that one person will “connect” or “plug-in” to the other person as their source of happiness and power. While both may have felt full, happy with their life, and connected to their spiritual selves in the beginning, the feelings of love are so overwhelming that one or both people see the other person as their source of happiness. They stop doing their spiritual practice, taking care of their individual soul and finding a way to tap into something that charges them fully.
It’s a lot like charging your phone. Plugging into your spiritual practice through prayer, meditation, exercise, reading or doing things that fill your soul is like plugging yourself into a socket of spirit. Our beautiful world is a source of endless energy, inspiration and power. You are able to fully charge yourself and share your fullness with your partner. However, when one or both views the other as the source of their power, it’s like plugging the phone into your computer to charge it. If the computer is plugged into a socket, this will work for a while, but the power from the computer will still be redirected to charge the phone rather than using the power to fully charge the battery of the computer. If the computer is not plugged in, both devices will eventually be drained.
I have seen this over and over again recently with friends. One person becomes dependent on the other for their energy and power and it inevitably leads to the breakdown of the relationship and draining of both people.
Plug into the source and share the overflow!!!!
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